Monday, April 4, 2011

Lights Out




In the middle of night a simple trip to the washroom became a fight for my life. I made it half way into the dining room when I realized I was among a mine field of toys I had neglected to put away before bed.  This normally would not be a problem during the day when there was light and my contacts were in, making it possible to actually see.  When my contacts come out at night, I no longer can make out images.  They become fuzzy blobs or disappear completely.  Our old rickety house has no carpet, only slippery hardwood floors that will put you on your back or crack a tailbone on any given day never mind adding toys with wheels to the equation. There wasn't a hair of light to be found forcing me to put my arms out like a zombie, wide-eyed frantically feeling the empty air. I couldn't flick on the lights because the switch was on the far wall requiring me to travel dangerously off the path I was already on.  I had already had a close call with a wheeled Caterpillar looking to take me down and had stubbed my toe on the saucer in an attempt for the light switch.  I stumbled into a patch of sharp plastic shapes that made me cry for a second and gave a tiny fit of rage.  I managed to set off the battery operated flashing ball that rolls around your floors singing and demanding that you push it.  It got away from me and went rolling across the room like a UFO, banging into walls and chairs. At one point I was turned  around altogether after I tripped over the red flannel monster chair leaving me on the floor and vulnerable.  Zeppelin gave me a fright with his toe nails clicking on the floors as he walked a couple of circles around me slurping and smacking.  For a moment I thought he was going to eat me.  I believe the toilet made one of its strange noises that gave me direction and I was able to make out the doorway of the washroom.  I stayed on the ground and swept away the debris  pushing forward with "I Need A Hero" from the Foot Loose soundtrack playing like an anthem in my head.   I cracked my elbow on a parking garage  but it didn't slow me down.  After reaching the washroom I figured It would be in my best interest to clean up my mess before heading back.  I don't think I would survive another go at it.  I pulled myself up the door frame and hit the lights that came on for a second but all burnt out one at a time like small little explosions...flickering...popping..


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Just want to say congratulations to my husband's pool team Stick and Stones, for winning a trip to Vegas or Winnipeg to play pool. 

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