Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Letter From A Plant

Here is a letter from one of my plants.  I found it shocking but a much needed lesson.

Front Porch,
Container #7,
Tilley, AB

June 7, 2011

Dear Plant Owner,

     I would like to speak on behalf of myself and the seven other green house flowers that you purchased over a week ago and have neglected to plant.  As much as we have enjoyed sitting in the outdoors, sitting in our containers has become slightly crowded.  My roots have grown through the bottom of the soil and are now climbing back up towards the top, towards my neck.  I would also like to bring up the fact that some of us are annuals.  Incase you don’t know what that is, it means we have a shelf life of this season only.  We won’t be back next year so planting us in the ground as soon as possible would be greatly appreciated considering time is ticking.  You also need to pay attention to the fact that it has been raining every other day for the past week and a half.  The two Purple Cone Flowers mentioned to me that the Star Gazer appears to be drowning in its container.  Lucky for the rest of us, we are all laying on our sides so drowning will not be our death.  However, the Brown Eyed Susan has lost multiple leaves and doesn’t appear to be blooming much at all any more.  Lying in the shade probably isn’t helping her I’m guessing. I over heard The Columbine complaining that you chose a spot to plant her but left her there in her container among several rooted plants that have been giving her a hard time.  The Clematis has been inappropriately harassing her by wrapping his arms around her stem and blooms. You might consider planting her or relocating her so she can claim what is left of her dignity.  Lastly, a rumor among the flower beds has been going around that you bought a raspberry bush last summer and never planted it at all but left it to die on your front porch all winter long.  If this is true you should be ashamed of yourself and we greenhouse plants refuse to go out like that!  We are fully aware that you have a young infant and a job you go to on most days but get it together lady and plant us!


The African Daisy

P.S.  You are killing the Purple Robe you have planted in the Coco Matt hanging on your door.  It is not going to bloom or survive because it is not receiving any water or much sunlight.  Pull it together it together lady! 


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